I've gotten quite a few emails, blog comments, and Facebook emails asking about sleep training: how is it going and what exactly are we doing, so I thought I'd respond to them all here with all the details!
I'll start at the beginning (and one day maybe Grant will read this and laugh at everything we did to get some sleep!). Grant has terrible reflux, possibly worse than Caroline had it as he was/is unable to sleep flat on his back from the time we brought him home (he would arch and scream - it was awful). He also hated to be swaddled which was what worked for Caroline's sleep and it helped calm her, thus calming her reflux. Anyway, we put him in a rock-n-play from the start for and it did wonders for his reflux and he liked being cuddled up in it BUT it was giving him a flat spot on the back of his head.
We were getting decent, but not good, newborn sleep from Grant until he hit the 4 month sleep regression stage, started getting teeth, and got a cold all at the same time. Also, our wonderful nanny broke her arm and so we've had different caretakers during the day resulting in Grant reverse cycling (eating the majority of his meals at night and practically nothing when I am at work).
Then we went downhill fast! We had previously been able to get him to sleep without nursing and on occasion, we could even get him down "drowsy but awake" like the books say to do. We would get a decent stretch of 3-4 hours in the first part of the night, too! But because of the complications of being a 4-month-old I started nursing him for comfort a lot more, which led to nursing to sleep, which created a little monster who depended on nursing to get back to sleep every time he woke up.
Since Caroline had slept in our room for her entire first year we thought we'd do the same with Grant, but it's different when you have 1. a super sensitive baby and 2. an older babe who still wakes up at night. Grant would wake up to every single sound. Tyler would snore, Grant would wake. Caroline woke up through the monitor, Grant would wake. I rolled over, Grant would wake.
So... our first step in the sleep training process was to move him out of our room and into his room. This also meant moving him out of the rock-n-play and into his crib, which needed to happen anyway because of his head. We wanted to wait until he was through the sleep regression phase and developmentally ready for some sleep training. I've devoured these Isis videos and lots of books on baby sleep and most sleep experts agree that until babes hit 5 months you just need to suck it up and comfort them... Luckily, Lianne sent us the Magic Merlin Suit right as this transition was happening.
The magical suit acts like a swaddle, suppressing the startle reflex which was the main reason Grant was waking so often. Without the suit he could only go about 5-10 minutes in his crib. The suit is soft, breathable, and cozy - Grant knows now that putting on the suit means it's time for sleep.
A little over a week or two ago as Grant was nearing 5 months we made the switch. We had already started placing him in his crib for naps (which he has always done great with, thankfully!) and getting him used to being in his room by playing more frequently in there. For the first part of the night he would sleep great in his suit, in the crib, for about 2 hours, but then it all fell apart and he would be up every 15 minutes or so... often until morning. Good times for me. Because the goal was just to get him in his room at this point I ended up sleeping in there with him, and bringing him into bed with me when it got to the point that I absolutely had to sleep. (Supporters of attachment parenting say that sleeping with your baby is the best way to maximize sleep since you can basically nurse and sleep at the same time. It works, but you do not get great sleep that way! You can't get comfortable and you sleep really lightly since you are protecting baby all night.)
I did this crazy-sleep-dance for a week (getting up 13 times on average on any given night!) in preparation for this weekend when phase two of sleep training began: breaking the nursing to sleep association. I studied the Isis video religiously and prepped Tyler for his task. Basically I now nurse Grant before his bath, and then after his bath Tyler gently bounces, rocks and/or sways him until he falls asleep. I still get up to feed him around 11PM, 1:30AM, and 4AM since he is still reverse cycling and I don't want him to starve, but when he wakes up at other times Ty gets him back down gently. It's gone well the last 2 nights with Ty getting up 3-4 times in addition to my feedings... about 50% less wakings AND since I have been the one getting up with Grant it's an enormous relief to me! Tonight we will work to break the nurse-to-sleep association one more time before entering phase 3.
Starting tomorrow night I will work on night-weaning with the goal of getting Grant down to nursing twice and then hopefully, just once during the night. For this to work though he needs to eat during the day... which is fine when I am home but our nanny is still recuperating and he won't take a bottle well when she isn't here. This could take some time but I have the 6 month mark as my goal (at the latest!).
Finally, during phase 4 of sleep training we will teach Grant to self-soothe by letting him cry-it-out. We did this with Caroline at a year old when we transitioned her to her own room and it was really hard but it worked. He'll be 6 months younger than her but I hope by laying the groundwork now (breaking the nursing to sleep habit and cutting down on night feedings) it'll be easier for him and quite possibly we won't need to do it at all. One of the biggest challenges with letting Grant CIO is that he wakes up Caroline (and Tyler and Fred and probably the neighbors down the street!) thus creating a whole new issue, so if we can avoid it altogether that would be fantastic.
During the next month we are also starting to introduce food to Grant! He's had rice cereal twice and tried to eat yogurt off my spoon the other day. Although food is for taste and not necessarily for calories before a year old (milk is still the main source), perhaps this will help enough with his reflux so that he won't need to nurse to calm his tummy. (By the way, we did try multiple meds with him and I tried eliminating dairy but nothing seemed to help.)
Soon enough we will all be sleeping well and in another year or two we'll forget just how bad it was!
I'll start at the beginning (and one day maybe Grant will read this and laugh at everything we did to get some sleep!). Grant has terrible reflux, possibly worse than Caroline had it as he was/is unable to sleep flat on his back from the time we brought him home (he would arch and scream - it was awful). He also hated to be swaddled which was what worked for Caroline's sleep and it helped calm her, thus calming her reflux. Anyway, we put him in a rock-n-play from the start for and it did wonders for his reflux and he liked being cuddled up in it BUT it was giving him a flat spot on the back of his head.
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| Grant in his Rock-N-Play |
Then we went downhill fast! We had previously been able to get him to sleep without nursing and on occasion, we could even get him down "drowsy but awake" like the books say to do. We would get a decent stretch of 3-4 hours in the first part of the night, too! But because of the complications of being a 4-month-old I started nursing him for comfort a lot more, which led to nursing to sleep, which created a little monster who depended on nursing to get back to sleep every time he woke up.
Since Caroline had slept in our room for her entire first year we thought we'd do the same with Grant, but it's different when you have 1. a super sensitive baby and 2. an older babe who still wakes up at night. Grant would wake up to every single sound. Tyler would snore, Grant would wake. Caroline woke up through the monitor, Grant would wake. I rolled over, Grant would wake.
So... our first step in the sleep training process was to move him out of our room and into his room. This also meant moving him out of the rock-n-play and into his crib, which needed to happen anyway because of his head. We wanted to wait until he was through the sleep regression phase and developmentally ready for some sleep training. I've devoured these Isis videos and lots of books on baby sleep and most sleep experts agree that until babes hit 5 months you just need to suck it up and comfort them... Luckily, Lianne sent us the Magic Merlin Suit right as this transition was happening.
 |
| Goofy looking suit but it has magical powers |
A little over a week or two ago as Grant was nearing 5 months we made the switch. We had already started placing him in his crib for naps (which he has always done great with, thankfully!) and getting him used to being in his room by playing more frequently in there. For the first part of the night he would sleep great in his suit, in the crib, for about 2 hours, but then it all fell apart and he would be up every 15 minutes or so... often until morning. Good times for me. Because the goal was just to get him in his room at this point I ended up sleeping in there with him, and bringing him into bed with me when it got to the point that I absolutely had to sleep. (Supporters of attachment parenting say that sleeping with your baby is the best way to maximize sleep since you can basically nurse and sleep at the same time. It works, but you do not get great sleep that way! You can't get comfortable and you sleep really lightly since you are protecting baby all night.)
I did this crazy-sleep-dance for a week (getting up 13 times on average on any given night!) in preparation for this weekend when phase two of sleep training began: breaking the nursing to sleep association. I studied the Isis video religiously and prepped Tyler for his task. Basically I now nurse Grant before his bath, and then after his bath Tyler gently bounces, rocks and/or sways him until he falls asleep. I still get up to feed him around 11PM, 1:30AM, and 4AM since he is still reverse cycling and I don't want him to starve, but when he wakes up at other times Ty gets him back down gently. It's gone well the last 2 nights with Ty getting up 3-4 times in addition to my feedings... about 50% less wakings AND since I have been the one getting up with Grant it's an enormous relief to me! Tonight we will work to break the nurse-to-sleep association one more time before entering phase 3.
Starting tomorrow night I will work on night-weaning with the goal of getting Grant down to nursing twice and then hopefully, just once during the night. For this to work though he needs to eat during the day... which is fine when I am home but our nanny is still recuperating and he won't take a bottle well when she isn't here. This could take some time but I have the 6 month mark as my goal (at the latest!).
Finally, during phase 4 of sleep training we will teach Grant to self-soothe by letting him cry-it-out. We did this with Caroline at a year old when we transitioned her to her own room and it was really hard but it worked. He'll be 6 months younger than her but I hope by laying the groundwork now (breaking the nursing to sleep habit and cutting down on night feedings) it'll be easier for him and quite possibly we won't need to do it at all. One of the biggest challenges with letting Grant CIO is that he wakes up Caroline (and Tyler and Fred and probably the neighbors down the street!) thus creating a whole new issue, so if we can avoid it altogether that would be fantastic.
During the next month we are also starting to introduce food to Grant! He's had rice cereal twice and tried to eat yogurt off my spoon the other day. Although food is for taste and not necessarily for calories before a year old (milk is still the main source), perhaps this will help enough with his reflux so that he won't need to nurse to calm his tummy. (By the way, we did try multiple meds with him and I tried eliminating dairy but nothing seemed to help.)
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| Cereal attempt #1 |
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| Grant taking one of his awesome "lawn naps" with the nanny back in September! |
Aimee! Thanks for all of these details about sleep training. I wish you the best of luck because I just can't imagine getting up 13 times on one night! How do you even function during the day? Good thing he is so darn cute! I will be crossing my fingers for you guys!
ReplyDeleteTara N.
OK, I now understand what you are going through! Incredible! So glad you are religiously trying to get through this "sleep adjustment" thing! You are amazing!
ReplyDeleteAimee, thanks for explaining it all!! Mom read it on her own on her tablet--how cool is that!! The steps sure sound so methodical and thought out, so glad it is paying off...you have done so much just to get ready for each step!
ReplyDeleteHere's to catching up on lost sleep!
PS...are they the cutest kids or what!
Joanie
Just now reading this 2 months later and hoping and praying that the sleep situation continues to improve! You are doing an incredible job! Keep it up!
ReplyDelete